Mom Jeans v Mom Life

Mom Jeans v Mom Life

Heh, funny story. Remember how I got those mules? Well…… I also got a pair of ‘mom jeans’ to go with them or with other things. I could wear them everywhere.

Great idea right?

RIGHT.

Although…. I can’t fit into them. I, a MOM, cannot fit into my MOM JEANS.

mom jeans

From the side, they don’t look that bad, right? A bit of a squeeze but totally fine.

Wait.

 

mom jeans motivation 2

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you get back into your jeans yet?

Sure. Just can’t do them up yet.

I’m only posting this to share the humour and also to show that I am not a bounce right back after baby girl. It’s been three months. There is no bouncing. I lost weight after the birth and also from breastfeeding but I’m really, really soft in the middle, and even softer after a meal haha. But I’m not that worried because I know that with a little exercise, a decent amount of Pilates, continuing to eat healthfully and I’ll be in my jeans soon.

So here are the goals I have for myself:

  1. 30 min walk everyday
  2. 15-20 min Pilates everyday
  3. Yoga
  4. Drinking 3 litres of water a day
  5. Incidental exercise like squatting whilst carrying the baby (who finds the up down motion extremely amusing)

Mostly these goals are just to make myself feel good. It feels amazing to move and any toning is a bonus! It’s important to me not to make the goal getting into a certain size otherwise I can get disappointed by how long things take whereas if my goal is just exercise for the pleasure of it, I find the process so much more enjoyable.

Oh, and the jeans are from Mink Pink, the material is super thick which I love and I got them for 15% off.

If you had a baby, tell me, did you fit back in your jeans right away? Or are you taking a while like me? What goals have you set for yourself? Let me know down below! xx

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Girl Talk: Team Huddle

Girl Talk: Team Huddle

[All images are on point and from weheartit.com]

B goes through these phases of having a current word that he loves to use. His current one is ’empower’. Not a bad one to have. He uses it in a work context, empowering this associate, that manager, this director, etc.

We all know that I love myself some weheartit action. Whaddya know, there is an inspiration gallery on weheartit called ‘Empowerment’! Hello, this is Synchronicity calling. Oh, it’s for us! So, this gallery on weheartit is girl-power focused but there’s some stuff in there to support all genders as well. The images that caught my eye the most were the ones that remind me that girls need to support other girls. You know the ones:

One of my favourite comedians is Dylan Moran and he made an observation about women in one of his standups saying we will never have the rights we keep demanding because we keep bitching about each other. You could hear the sucked in breath of the audience, the outright guffaws of everyone, all the head nodding and people going, “Haha! So true!”.

I laughed too but on the inside, I was all, “Dammit, Team!”

A very good friend of mine once told me something when I expressed hurt feelings after discovering that someone I thought of as a very close friend had been talking about me behind my back. He said, “Dom, one of these days you’ll learn that not everyone likes everyone and not everyone will like you.”

taste
Stranger things, hey. What are you gunna do.

Stranger things, hey. What are you gunna do.

I was like “Waaaaaaahhhh I don’t wanna learn” (The sound of me experiencing history repeating.)

Flashback to trying to introduce my different best friends in junior school to each other which felt like walking face on into a brick wall. Very painful. They all hated each other. For no reason that I could see. I liked them, we seemed to like similar things hence the bff-ness, so why didn’t they like each other? At least one of them explicitly stated, “If she’s coming, I’m not coming.” Tea parties and movie outings got very tricky.

My squads were more like Noah’s ark passengers and only came in sets of two. No chance of starting a girl band which is a shame because one of my bffs and I had this great dance routine down ahahahaha cue my #squadgoals gallery.

0F37802F-B8DC-4685-8AAE-8DBBCBC19E4E
It was actually a killer routine, ok.

It was actually a killer routine, ok.

This could have been us but you hatin’.

how amazing would this be

who dis
No, I’m not bffs anymore with those girls.

Another odd thing that I observed over time was the refusal of women to accept each other.

Have you ever heard someone say, “Yes but she’s ugly.” as a means to downplay that person’s competence or worth? Or if someone is being praised for an accomplishment, another person says, “Too bad she’s fat.” Or  about someone who has the figure of someone who works out alot, “She’s probably bulimic.” Or about someone who is beautifully dressed, “She’s a bimbo.” Or about someone who is just generally a lovely person, well off, doing well in her chosen field, beautiful inside and out, you might hear, “But she’s still single hey.”

?!

not nice
That’s super unchill and way harsh.

This hating thing seems to be something that has really picked up over the last couple of years. I’ve been the subject of some hate too: I have been fat-shamed AND thin-shamed, but then hello, who hasn’t had a little shade thrown at them by this point? There’s so much of it to go around.

i'm curvystudies show

snap!
Seriously, how much are we loving these images?! And also are those some kind of donut?

I don’t know if it has always been this way and I can’t speak to what guys talk about amongst themselves because I’m not a guy. But it feels horrible to me. This should not be the norm. Where have the compliments gone? I’m not interested in lip service and saying nice things that we don’t mean. But the more I see this sort of behaviour — and I know other people must be seeing this hence all the “Women empower each other” inspiration images — the more I think there seems to be this mindset that there is only a limited amount of beauty, brains, health, wealth, best friends, compliments, success, and other great things and it’s every woman for herself. We need to clear this misunderstanding up. There may be underlying issues like a feeling of lack (self-esteem, worth, value) and we need to deal with that too. Not that having issues is an excuse. We may not even be aware of any underlying issues. Although what kind of perfectly happy issue-free person walks around espousing hate? Happy people don’t kill people as Elle Woods puts it.

Hey girl, what lies beneath?

Dunno, but that won’t stop me from hating on other people. 

And “she started it” is definitely not a valid reason, either.

another woman's beautynot at all jealous

other womenwomen shouldbecause v66

The idea that a person may be deeply unhappy without even knowing suggests a general lack of awareness or cloudiness of mind. One of the Yoga Sutras talks about how to attain clarity of mind. It says, “Clarity of mind is produced by meditating on friendliness towards the happy, compassion toward the miserable, joy toward the virtuous, and indifference toward the wicked.” [1.33]

I think of this as one of several keys to ultimate freedom.

What better freedom can there be than to have total peace of mind? To not experience jealousy when one witnesses the success of another but to feel happy? Rather than tearing each other down and belittling the hard work of another we can feel inspired to do more and be more. No, we don’t need to do the old “Girls rule, boys suck” chant either. There is no need for us to put down another gender to feel better about our own. We don’t need to belittle someone else’s life to feel better about our own. True strength doesn’t depend on highlighting the weaknesses of others and we need to be stronger.

True strength NOT brute strength.

what we need

All of us are in this together and we have our own challenges to get through. My approach? Well, basically:

can't seehalf the battlebe a queen honey!IFbe nice or else

For those of us who have been bullied and pushed around: hey, you need to know that you’re a valuable person.

you are validyou are notgood peopleif you can't find onep.s.

For those of us who have not made the best choice, let’s stop being so shady. I think kindness is a nicer shade on you.

So, if we really want world peace and universal love, let’s give ourselves permission to show each other kindness and find some peace. There are really important things happening out there, tearing each other down simply cannot be the way forward. This behaviour has become a bad habit but habits can be unlearned. It’s never too late to learn new tricks and bring about change. Change your thoughts, change your life.

orendapeople are terrificall the hearts<3

Ok, team, good talk. Go team!

xoxo

Quote

YOGA ALL DAY

Why am I shouting the title at you?

Sorry, I’m a little deaf these days, there’s constant hammering away in the apartment above my head since we last chatted. They’re doing it to drive me crazy renovating.

float

Hence why, I still haven’t uploaded that video I have been promising! I need to construct a sound proof room first which reminds me of the old music room at my school. I would go there every lunchtime for piano lessons. The entire room was wall-papered with egg cartons and painted blue to accord with the school colour. The effect was, uh, very crafty and three-dimensional. But aside from being quite visually effective the egg cartons really didn’t work very well.

Which brings me back to where I am seated right now. It sounds like the people upstairs are diligently tinkering away with teeny tiny hammers and chisels at the ceiling above my head. Which makes me imagine they are either chiseling a statue or they are trying to tunnel their way into my apartment.

Am I annoyed? Sort of, I guess I’m half laughing at the imagery and half wishing the noise would stop. I am distracted by the incessant tunnelling hammering. That’s what is getting me, that I am allowing myself to be distracted and affected by this external activity. It is beyond my environment so why is it having such a huge impact on me?

It is just like in yoga classes, if you have had the fortune to experience, when a person, perhaps on a mat next to you is a REALLY LOUD BREATHER. Really, really, really loud. There is silence all around, except a sort of hum of coordinated movements and breathing… then this fantastically pervasive rasping sound emanating from the person next to you. Has that ever bothered you?

Or how about if the lady next to you in her struggle to do any postures is blustering and swearing away. “Oh geez. Oh !@#$%^&*#@#@***” on and on and on she goes for the entire ninety minutes. She hangs in there for the full class. She has paid her entry fee and by *&$#@ is she gonna get every last #$@&* minute out of that @#$%^&* session.

What about the self-appointed class joker (hey, why did you look at me for?) on the other side of the room, who takes it upon himself, everytime the teacher claims says “One more breath here” to do a countdown “Five, four, three, two aaaaaaaaaand ONEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

EVERY. TIME. No one laughs after the first time. But he persists.

Or what about the person who is just too sweaty? Or the showoff? Or the two ladies who won’t stop talking in the back? Or the person who doesn’t smell nice? Or the person who is wearing hardly anything and you can see right up their bandha?

The list could go on and on ad nauseum.

Well? Do you recognise these people? Do you think to yourself, “What classes do you attend, and why haven’t these people been thrown out?!”

Well, these people don’t just go to yoga classes. They also show up in your life. They’re in the supermarket, at your workplace, at uni, they’re on the bus with you, the train. Yep, sometimes they’re in the guise of your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, best friend, mum, dad, or child or brother, whatever.

And they’re doing something and it just bothers the bejeezers out of you.

What is a ‘bejeezer’? You don’t even know. You’re just so annoyed right now you’re creating new words. Oxford Dictionary look out, coming soon your way, get ready to take notes.  

Oh, and of course you’re not being nitpicky. It’s them. Right? It’s always them.

Do they have to do that? And in that way?*

YES THEY HAVE TO. And the more that it bothers you, the more they have to do that.

If you have ever experienced this then my suggestion is below. It seems to snap me out of my egg-cartoned mindset quick-smart. What works for me, might work for you. If you have never experienced this, well done, I guess you can carry on reading for entertainment?

Here’s the solution: Change your mind. Leave the world alone. Your world will evolve with time to fit the shape of your mind. You can make it as easy or as hard as you like, as I like to tell my students about our yoga practice. The choice is yours. You can struggle, or you can float. You do get to choose. You always have a choice.

Take a good look at these supposed ‘challengers’ and be glad they exist. They’re your true teachers. You will learn more from them than a workshop with a ‘celebrity’ yoga instructor. These are the teachers that teach you how to live. And they do it so effortlessly.

“Look at

all your fellow

humans and name

them accurately.

‘Brother.’

‘Sister.'”

– Erich Schiffman

I have met all sorts of teachers in yoga classes and I have to say over the years I still catch myself feeling exasperated and yes, distracted! It happens less and less but it still happens sometimes! Sometimes it’s the small, seemingly insignificant things that trip me up the hardest. I forget and think, “I am beyond that point. I love life. I love everyone. I’m fine.”

And then bang! I totally walk on my floaty cloud feelings into that trap my mind has set for me. I’m no longer practising yoga when that happens. I’m in somethingsomething-asana but it’s just a shape my body happens to be in. Because at that point, I have chosen to be more important than anyone else, more deserving to be there than anyone else and have decided that my comfort is more important than the comfort of anyone else, there in that class room. How egotistical does that sound when said out loud?

Instead of saying, “Oh, they’re so ANNOYING” but instead to phrase that as “I’m more important than they are.”

Yeesh! No, we have left yoga at that point. We’re just sweating and bending and stretching.

No yoga there. Just ego.

Oh, beware the ego trap! It is there all day everyday. There will never be a day when you reach nirvana and the trap is no longer set for you. You need to be on alert at all times. Be present in the moment. Live mindfully and completely in each moment. Question yourself.

And so, this is what I mean by

YOGA ALL DAY.

You do have to shout that a little at yourself, to get it through, past that ego trap. It has egg cartons painted in a hideous colour to distract you to the point of rage from realising that you have fallen deep inside. You can hear the sounds of life around you, but all you can see are those cartons. You are blind to the lesson in front of you.

There is far more to yoga than just yoga as I say. Our ability to do the splits, to touch our toes with our legs straight, or to stick one leg behind our head or stand on our head will not insulate us from the lessons of life. The ability to do any of those things are just acrobatic.

The goal of yoga is to cultivate an attitude of equanimity and one of compassion.

We’re all in this together, some of us swearing away, some of us panting loudly, some of us excitedly talking, some of us silently and we’re all chiseling away at this unshaped rock to make sense of our life purpose and find our way. When we look to our left and right and see we’re all trying in our different ways to do the same thing, live our lives any which way we can, the scales fall from our eyes, and the sounds and activities of life become what they always have been. Just a soundtrack of life.

Don’t get distracted by the soundtrack to your life.

Breathe. Practice your yoga all day. Know your fellow humans by name. Thank your teachers.

And between you and me, I don’t know what it is, maybe the renovations have finished upstairs, but I can’t hear any noise anymore. It is perfectly silent. All I can hear is the sound of my breathing and the sound of my fingers tapping on the keyboard.

Thank you thank you thank you. x

*Sometimes we are those very same people. We may not think it, but someone somewhere may be looking at us with disdain and think, “Oh go somewhere else, will ya?” How hurt would we feel if someone said to us that what we were doing was supremely irritating to them? Did we even aim our actions at them? Nope! We were just doing our own thing, right? Funny, that. Hmm. 

Audio

This Song goes out to You.

In anticipation of tonight’s Mardi Gras parade and finding out what the anthem will be this year, here is an anthem of another sort that I adore. 

 Ego. With a capital E.

To my Ego, my Pride and my Hubris. I hope you like this song. I release you happily. Thanks for everything, you can go now, and take my Fear with you.

Without you, I am free now to create.

(Note: This used to be a link to an awesome remix on Soundcloud, but since then that link has changed. Until I find it again here is the original version which is still awesome.)

My favourite lines:

I held you in high regard, you were an answer from God.

Not anymore.

When I used to love youuuuuuuuuuuu. There was nothing that I wouldn’t do.

You’re all take and no give as the expression goes.

But I’m tired of living this life. It’s getting harder to justify. I realise I just don’t love youuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Not like I used to.

The numbers just don’t quite add up.

I can’t afford you.

You’re just in the way. You don’t help me, you harm me. What’s the value of holding onto you and putting you first? Zero. Nil. Nada.

The most upbeat breakup anthem I ever loved. And shouldn’t these type of tunes always be anthems? We’re picking freedom from a toxic love, and that’s no kind of love at all.

LYRICS:

Maybe, it’s me, maybe i bore you
No no, it’s my fault, cause i can’t afford u
Maybe baby, Puffy, Jay z
Would all be better for you
Cause all I can do is love you

Baby when I used to love you
(There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do)
I went through the fire for you,
Did anything you asked me to
But I’m tired of living this lie
It’s getting harder to justify
I realized that I just don’t love you
Not like I used to

HaLa ala la
HAla ala la

Maybe, I should rob somebody
So we could, live like Whitney and Bobby
It’s probably my fault, my bad, my loss
But you are, above cost
Cause all I could do was love you

Baby when I used to love you,
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
I went through the fire for you,
Did anything you asked me to.
But I’m tired of living this lie.
It’s getting harder to justify,
I realized that I just don’t love you
Not like I used to.

Hala hala hala
Hala hola hola

Do you remember when I used to love you (I used to love you)
Baby no, not any more, love you (but I don’t love you)
Ooohhhh, I love you (I used to love you)
And you’re gonna miss me now

Baby when I used to love you
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do,
I went through the fire for you,
But I’m not gonna play the fool
No I can’t live this lie, and I can’t justify,
And I can’t make up my life
Cause I don’t love you
Not like I used to do
Not like I used to do
Not like I used to do

Hola holla holla
Holla holla holla

(I used to love you)
(I used to love you)
(I used to love you)

I bet you miss me now
Cause I don’t love you

When I let go and release what is no longer serving me, I make space for something better. Choose Love. What’s your fave anthem? And what are you releasing?