Pregnancy Update

Pregnancy Update

I am really lucky that my pregnancy so far has been really easy and I thought I’d share how things have been going in that department.

How far along? I’m currently 37 weeks pregnant, so not too long to go for me now, phew! I’ve loved being pregnant although oh my gosh, the constant need to go pee but I’m excited to see the baby at last. And to stop counting time in weeks.

How big is the baby? The size of a serving tray of madeleines according to my app. I feel like this is subjective depending on how much a person likes madeleines. Ooh, remind me to share my oatmeal cookie recipe!

How am I doing? Symptoms wise I don’t have any complaints. I just need to pee quite often and I feel the heat a lot more than before I was pregnant. Usually during summer I’d be charging down to the beach but at this stage of the pregnancy it’s just too darn hot for me. I’m also really aware that whilst I can sweat to cool down the baby can’t so I’m trying to be considerate at the same time haha. And yeah the not sleeping thing. If I’m lucky I can sleep for three hours in a full block but lately I’ve noticed that if I play meditation music I can sleep up to five hours which is awesome. I’ve been feeling really cheerful this whole pregnancy even though somedays I really am so so so tired! I think the meditation helps with that. And I’ve been super lucky not to have any back pain. I’m still doing Pilates and yoga on the regular which helps keep things strong.

How much weight have I gained? I don’t know. We don’t have any scales at home because we don’t weigh ourselves and when I go in for checkups no one ever asks to weigh me. I didn’t know how much i weighed before I was pregnant either anyway. The midwife measures my bump and at my last one my measurements matched the number of weeks I was so I guess everything is normal in that department. I know that in terms of clothing sizes, I’ve gone from a UK size 10 fitting loosely to a UK size 12 to 14 depending on the cut of the clothing. Most of the weight has gone to my boobs and obviously my bump so I went up a size so that tops and dresses would cover my bump haha. There’s one dress that I bought online in several colours and sizes because it was so comfortable. I’ve pretty much been living in that. At home I still wear my usual clothes because no one sees anyway.

Which brings me to…

I suppose partly because of what I do, I get a lot of people scrutinising my changing body shape and appearance but when I think back I always get that type of attention even when I work as a lawyer or way back when I was a teenager. From some people, not everyone. But enough for me to notice! This is a weird subject for me,  how people can be so fascinated by my body that they pay such close attention and feel like they can tell me what they think about it. My husband? My mother? My health provider? Sure, ok. People I see twice a year for lunch? I dunno. People I just met? I mean, really. I feel like there are more fun or important things we could chat about. It’s even more surprising that instead of less comments people feel like they can comment more about my body now that I am pregnant. WHY. When did we decide this was ok?

One day was particularly rough for me when I kept getting hounded by some women to say how many kilograms I had put on through this pregnancy and they wouldn’t believe me when I said I honestly didn’t know. B told me that they later asked him the same thing when I wasn’t around. As if he weighs me in my sleep?! It kind of hurt my feelings that time but I put my reaction down to having not slept a single minute the night before and fighting off a throat infection. There’s no question that I am big now, I’m due in just a few weeks! But I’ve been told that I look SO HUGE since halfway through my pregnancy and I got a few of the, “Are you sure it’s not twins, har har?” line. Would you believe I was told by the same person early on that I looked really big and then a few months later she said, “You look so big now. Before you still looked really small.” It gets really confusing if you take in everyone’s opinions. Sometimes I wondered because I got so many of those comments that maybe I am really big for how far along I was but then I went in to get measured as part of my checkup and was told that I’m perfectly on track. A few weeks ago a woman said really loudly in front of everyone in the group, “WOW you’re really big” and repeated it a few times for good measure. What she didn’t know was that a few days ago I had gone in for a regular checkup to be told I was measuring slightly smaller than I was meant to be. It was really worrying me at the time but luckily the baby is all caught up now and that is all that matters to me.

I just wonder about what if I was someone who had or still has an eating disorder or a less loving relationship with my body and was now hearing these things? What about my baby listening in on every conversation and hearing how focused people are on weight? How would all that make me feel about my changing body which is working hard at growing a human inside? What would that do to how I felt about my baby? Does it not occur to people that they might affect someone? But maybe they sense that I’m generally pretty resilient so they just give me all those comments instead of someone more vulnerable. I kind of hope so but unfortunately I don’t think that’s the case. One of B’s friends was saying that his wife HATED pregnancy because of all the comments about how big she was getting. That was her one complaint. How horrible to get so put off by what is supposed to be such an amazing experience!

I feel really good about myself so it’s not a huge deal for me. I can walk away from these comments and get on with having an amazing day. I love my baby belly and it’s so amazing to feel my baby swimming around inside all day long. I also get a lot of compliments too which helps with not feeling all that bothered. A lot of people are just excited to see and touch the bump and I totally appreciate that. You can see their whole face light up when they look at it. A friend of mine was saying it might be because everything else seems to be close to the same and it’s just this bump entering the room before I do that makes people say I look so big. Meanwhile I’m going to miss walking around feeling like I’ve got a golden egg on me. I really like it! It’s so round and shiny (especially after I’ve exfoliated haha).

Pregnancy update - baby in my belly

Something to remember is that these things can be really subjective unless the comments are coming from the people who look after your unborn baby. Also, sometimes people don’t mean to be hurtful, they just aren’t very careful or mindful with their words. Best not to assume anything about their true intentions and just let the words tumble off your shoulder like water. Some weeks you might feel like nothing is happening and other weeks it feels like the baby is growing faster. All the while people might just think you look big blah blah blah. Another thing is appearances could have something to do with your build and also your genetics. Some women don’t appear to look pregnant at all whereas others, like me, do. I have a short torso compared to my legs and arms so there isn’t much space for my bump to spread out and this entire pregnancy I have been carrying really high so it kinda just sticks out there. There are those women who have very small baby bumps even up to the birth of the baby and others who have really big bumps early on in their pregnancy. The only thing that matters is that you and the baby are healthy!

I still remember how excited I was when my bump finally started to show! Finally my bump was catching up with my boobs which were getting honestly, wayyyyyyyyy too much attention from randoms. I remember standing in a shop and hearing a guy comment on the size of my chest to the girl standing next to him and the girl smacking him and saying, “She’s pregnant you idiot!” Neither of them had realised I could understand their dialect. It wasn’t long after that that the baby in my belly was then big enough for me to feel the kicking. So much fun and no comment from anyone could ever take away how enjoyable the experience has been for me.

Anyway this all came out a bit jumbled and rambly but I just thought I would share my experience. If there was one ugh part to pregnancy that wasn’t to do with the constant need to pee and not much sleep it would be those comments. I’m lucky that I have been feeling really mentally and physically strong this pregnancy plus I have so much love and support around me. I felt the need to say something in case other women are walking around feeling bothered. I totally understand it’s not nice to experience! Just eat healthfully, drink plenty of water, exercise safely and don’t let those things get to you! Opinions like that don’t pay the bills and they won’t nourish your baby! Pay attention to what the professionals looking after your health and the health of your baby say. Some people just don’t consider that what they say can matter so in that case you can just tell yourself that they’re right, their words really don’t matter!!

Meanwhile if you aren’t pregnant but you have found yourself experiencing the urge to comment please pause and really think about the impact you could have on someone. What are you trying to say and what purpose does it serve?

Any cravings? Not really. I’m even ok with going without watermelon and oranges for days at a time haha. I’m still eating them although not because I crave them anymore but because I want to keep my immune boosted and watermelon was a good way to stay hydrated in this heatwave situation we were having here in Sydney. I’d be just as happy with ice water. I read somewhere that if your nutritional needs are well met you’re less likely to experience cravings.

Any aversions? Not really either. I’m really low maintenance, I think.

Have I got stretch marks? I can’t see LOL! I think they show up more if they are there once the baby is out. For now all I can see are blue veins. My veins have always been really easy to see through my skin and I can see loads around my tummy at times. My mum didn’t get any stretch marks having me either so we’ll see if the genes are strong in me! I was getting a wax with my beautician who I’ve been seeing for years and she commented that I didn’t have any. I asked her about my theory that they show up more after but she was like, “Nope, if they’re not there, they’re won’t be there on the other side.” HAHAHA she cracks me up. Anyway for now, I don’t have any according to people who have seen me naked.

But like I said, I can’t see for myself and in that sense I am going by what other women are telling me.

Does the baby kick a lot? The baby was kicking quite a bit before but lately as my bump has gotten bigger the movements feel more swishy and fluid like. It’s pretty funny to watch the skin on my tummy ripple around. I think the baby is just happy doing some tai chi style moves in there but the really STRONG kinds. This baby is literally pushing the roof and the walls out as far as they’ll go.

Baby bump with rainbow crystal

Do we have any names chosen? Yes we have a few we love but obviously we’d like to just wait until the baby is out before saying anything.

Am I planning a natural birth? Yes! But I am trying to stay okay with whatever happens.

Am I nervous about labour? Super nervous haha but oh well, hopefully I’ll be able to stay focused on breathing and it won’t take so long that I get hungry or something lol.

Have I got everything ready for the baby? Not yet, yikes! That’s what I’ll be busy doing for the next few weeks I figure. I’ve just been ordering things from online and I’ll let you know what I ended up getting. I’m currently doing loads and loads of washing of all the baby clothes I ordered, I found some really great websites so will share soon. Meanwhile, this is ONE BATCH. Yeesh!

baby-clothes-laundry-day

But omigosh if it even makes any sense, Mum and I both went nuts when I finished hanging these teeny tiny clothes out on the line. She’s still cooing over the cuteness and I agree. It’s ridiculous how cute they look.

Also. Is it crazy I totally wish this beanie came in my size? I mean. Lookatit.

bunny rabbit forest beanie from NEXT

That’s pretty much it. If you’re currently pregnant or have been pregnant and want to share your experiences, I’d love to hear from you! xo

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Monday Morning Ritual: Getting Organised for Another Week

I plan my day in a way that flows.

This affirmation is perfect to start the week with! Here is a snippet of what my Monday morning ritual looks like.

Firstly I meditate. I do this immediately when I wake up and have had half a glass of water to drink. I keep a bottle of water next to my bed to refill my glass from so I don’t even need to move! I prefer to not leave my bedroom (my sanctuary!) until I have meditated so I can set my vibes for the day.

I write a little in my journal about anything interesting that popped up in my dreams and in my meditation. I always keep a few crystals nearby. They’re beautiful and uplifting to look at.

purple and rainbow crystal and diary planner

I keep my favourite affirmation cards in my diary so I can pull them out to look over in the morning after meditating. These small square cards are the Empower Yourself Affirmation Cards by Miranda Kerr. I have other affirmations that I note down in my journal too. I keep this particular card in my diary because it seems so appropriate!

affirmations for a well organised day over morning tea

It’s so hot at the moment here in Sydney that I have to have a cool shower to refresh. This might sound a bit odd but it’s also a great way for me to fit in a little exercise every single day without fail. Right after my shower, I do 30 push ups against the wall. Just like that, I’ve done some exercise! A word of warning: do not do your wall push ups in the shower where the floor might be wet – you wouldn’t want to slip and hurt yourself.

monday morning day diary entry

A new habit I have now is to moisturise my whole body after showering. I use either coconut oil or an oil blend that I make myself. At the moment I’m also using this lotion from Garnier, it smells quite fresh but isn’t too overpowering. I’m trying to get through it so I don’t have a whole row of bottles on my bedside counter like some kind of crazy lotion obsessed person but it’s taking me a while! Usually this would have been finished in a week if B was around because he prefers moisturisers to oils and he always loves using what I get for skin care since he knows how fussy I am about products I didn’t make. But I’m here and he’s still overseas so here I am with oodles of lotion to myself.

This jade bangle is from my mum. I need the moisturiser to help with getting it on. It’s a bit of a struggle but nothing like the kind I went through in Delhi when a very sweet bracelet maker rammed a handful of tiny bangles up my palm. I swear I felt my bones crack that time haha. They were SO beautiful but I nearly cried when I took them off.

Moisturiser and Crystal Jade Bracelet Bangle

After that, one of my favourite parts of the morning: TEA AND BREAKFAST! I like all the morning but that first cup of tea is lovely. I put ice in my tea because it is so hot, is that weird for you? I don’t know how normal that is in a lot of countries but in South East Asia this is extremely common. If Sydney insists on having tropical weather than I have no choice but to crack out the ice cubes.

Although you can get bubble milk tea all over town so I guess you’re probably used to the idea of ice in tea by now.

Mum and I bought these delicious date and walnut scones at the markets yesterday so as an extra special treat I’m having one for breakfast with organic butter. When scones are so fresh I don’t feel like I need jam or cream. That and a big tumbler of water makes the perfect meal to nibble on as I get on with business.

delish scone with morning tea

If it isn’t too crazy hot yet then I’ll duck out for a quick walk otherwise I’ll stay in the shade and head out later on in the day when things cool down. I used to be fine in the heat but now that I’m pregnant I just feel the effects so quickly and worse I know that however hot I feel the baby feels even warmer so it’s important that I don’t get dehydrated and stay cool. Another reason to avoid getting too much sun when you’re pregnant is you can get dark patches of skin because of pregnancy hormones. It’s called ‘the mask of pregnancy’ and usually fades after you give birth but personally it’s best to just avoid getting to that point. It’s important to get some sun every day but not too much. Moderation is the key, as usual!

2017 diary planner from Kmart
Watermelon tumbler (comes with lid and straw) from Kmart

I hope you have a lovely week ahead filled with little things that make you happy!

Let me know what your getting Monday morning ritual looks like! x

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Happy New Year! 

Happy New Year! 

I’m celebrating the New Year with breakfast in bed and icy pops in total silence.

SUCH BLISS

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How was your New Year’s?

It’s been a really hot couple of days over here. Unbearably hot! I may have mentioned that I hardly sleep due to the pregnancy, did I? Well, I don’t sleep much, which is ok! But when the thermostat hit the high 30s the last few days and refused to drop back down during the evenings, I got so uncomfortable. Honestly I spent all night and early morning of New Year’s Eve Eve staring at the weather app on my phone haha. I’ve always run a little warmish, in Traditional Chinese Medicine this is known as having excessive internal heat, and that last night definitely finished me off.

I woke up on New Year’s Eve voiceless which was terrible timing since we had a whole bunch of people coming over. I figured I’d spend the day just listening but it seems that some days the more you want to listen to people, the more they want to hear you speak. This was even after B had gone around to everyone stating firmly that I had completely lost my voice and couldn’t speak. Oh well. The people want what the people want. I stuck everything drinkable in the chiller to keep my voice croaking on. I was so miserably tired from not sleeping, feeling so horrible with my painful throat and just completely under the weather that I felt like I might weep. That’s when I excused myself for 11 minutes to go meditate. I say to people all the time that meditation helps. Sometimes I forget that I should add, “But you need to keep at it.” So even though I had meditated at 3:30 am when the weather app said it was 34degrees (celsius so people who live in farenheit countries aren’t like, “What is your problem?” haha) I obviously needed to give myself some kind of boost. And it did the trick! My throat was still a little sore but my voice felt stronger and I had enough energy to get me through the afternoon until everyone went home happy with full bellies. Awwwww…..

In the evening time B and I just hung around at home nibbling on leftovers, watching the last bit of Home Alone. And staring at the baby bump. I don’t know if other parents are like this but we’re obsessed with staring at it. We watch it the way people watch movies. Also, is it Christmas if you don’t watch Home Alone?! B and I are the same age so even though we didn’t know each other back then we both remember watching Home Alone as kids thinking, “I’d so do that.” The weather was starting to cool down and even get windy so just before the midnight fireworks we drove down to the beach to hang out for a while. On the way home we picked up some icy pops which I had BIG NEW YEAR’S DAY PLANS FOR.

The oatmeal I didn’t even have to cook. Well, I cooked it the day before and because I never get the portions right, I just stored what was left in the fridge to have with fresh strawberries in the morning, cold. SO GOOD.

I’ve been asked a few times how to cook oatmeal. ??? Usually the packages that the oats come in will say something like cook for 5 minutes. There isn’t much to it but I know that a lot of people really have no confidence when it comes to anything beyond boiling water for tea. No worries!

Basic Oatmeal My Way:

Ingredients

Whole rolled oats – these days you can even get organic. Let’s say a handful per person.

Enough water to cover the oats in a small saucepan.

I like to add a good shake of ground nutmeg and cinnamon when I’m cooking the oats.

Method

Bring the oats in the water to a gentle boil, keep it on a low heat – oatmeal tends to bubble up really quickly and then spill over all over your stove when you turn your back on it. So keep the heat low so you don’t miss it. When the oatmeal starts to bubble, keep stirring so it doesn’t stick, you might add a little more water if you feel like it looks dry. Once you can’t see the water separate from the oats, that’s it. It should look like flaky mush. Makes sense? Let’s say it should be done in around 3-5 minutes. You can’t OVERCOOK oatmeal although it could dry out. 


To serve you can add honey or maple syrup and a splash of your choice of milk. You could cook the oatmeal in milk instead of water to make the oatmeal extra creamy. 

Like I said, if you made too much, it’s fine! Just put your leftovers in the fridge. Easy. 

Processed with Rookie Cam

Do you have any resolutions for this year? I wrote something last year about having a Peaceful New Year’s Eve . I was thinking to myself yesterday that even though I’m bringing in the New Year not feeling 100% that everytime my baby kicks, it makes me smile and I have no complaints. There have been some moments in 2016 that were really, really tough and horrible but there have also been many moments of joy. Isn’t that just life though? I think overall I faced things as peacefully as I could and I’ll try harder again this year. Every year I get a little calmer and at ease with peace, I hope!  I think if I had just one resolution to make this year it would be to just focus on being the kind of person that I look forward to spending time with.

And that person would conveniently have messy hair and eat icy pops in bed hehehe.

White Cotton Knit Dress from Kmart;
Nail Polish from Essie in Pink Diamond 

Make that REALLY messy hair. I’m wearing a cheap cotton knit dress that I found in KMART for $6. So comfy for sleeping! Although as my bump gets bigger, the dress gets shorter. It’ll be a singlet by the time the baby is due.

Anyway, I hope you had a wonderful end to 2016 and that 2017 will bring you lots of peace.

x

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Goddess Vibes x Drill Exercise: Be Kind and Stay Still = Strength.

 

“perhaps just get more kind to yourself and those around you”

— apt words from my June horoscope

Once in a while I’ll stumble upon a horoscope, article, instagram and marvel at how perfectly these small happenings are timed to lessons and themes I am currently working on. For instance, the last few months have been really focused on the concept of kindness and softness. They’re NOT easy! It has taken so long for me to break down my need to never show softness and never backdown to really embrace how being soft can be a different kind of strength. Life isn’t just about how good a smackdown you can give or how feisty you can be. It’s terrifying and exhilarating to find that within all that being gentle, deep down there is a reservoir of true strength to withstand all outside forces as well as all the inner crazy. The best defence may be a good offence in sports but in life the best defence is inner strength. 

Continuously working on the ability to stay perfectly gracefully still despite everything going on will build up your strength reserves mentally as well as physically. You’ll only get stronger this way and you’ll always feel centered, because your center is strong! Today’s drill is the perfect physical illustration of that wonderful kooky circular logic. You’re staying as still as you can, whilst working on strengthening your core and you won’t need to do a single crunch, hurray! It works for me and I hope it will for you too. Try it and let me know!

Enough chit-chat from me, let’s do this.

THE STAY STILL [Working title I’m sticking with this – besides aren’t we over ‘labels’ already?]

Repeat this exercise 3 to 5 times, several times a week and you’ll definitely feel stronger physically and hopefully get closer to experiencing grace under pressure, even if it’s merely during the course of a yoga class. It will be worth it – eventually that grace will translate to beyond your physical class! 

  1. Start in a kneeling position
  2. Place your hands either side of your knees
  3. Lean your weight into your hands and press strongly into the ground as you exhale
  4. Breathe your belly button in and up towards your spine
  5. On your next exhalation squeeze your knees towards your chest
  6. Hold as you breathe in and out for 5 rounds of breathing (something like the picture above)
  7. Inhale and squeeze your knees in a little more then 
  8. Lower down on your next exhalation. (Finally!)
  9. Advance this by squeezing one heel off the floor and hold. 
  10. Super advance this by squeezing both heels off the floor. You’re basically ready to levitate. 

If it feels horrible for the front of your feet then you can start off kneeling with your toes tucked under. As you press up you will come high up onto your toes. When you’re stronger you can try again with your feet flat. 

 

Tips

Your back will naturally round — go with that instinct. 

Use your midsection to pull your knees into the curve of your body. Squeezing your inner thighs together will help activate your core just that extra more. As much of your weight is off the floor, not just dangling into the fronts of your feet.

Even though your back is rounded, don’t hunch your shoulders into your ears! And don’t scrunch your face! All the work is deep, deep down in your core. The rest of you is to resemble the surface of still water. 

What it do?

I’m glad you asked. This will work your entire core as well as your ability to maintain your straight-arm strength. With your knees sucked in as close to your body as you can you’ll notice how hard your belly is working to keep that knees to chest connection going. The back gets a great stretch too. 

Alternatives for wrist issues

Just do the same thing but laying on your back and imagine your pressing your hands into the ceiling and pushing it away. You’ll still get all the benefits and you’ll have a great time curling your body away from the floor. NOT EASY. You’ll know you’re doing it right because you’ll just know

You can build up as you get stronger by doing the alternative in addition. Make the two versions part of your regular strength exercise.

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Friday Feels Groovy: Picnics at Sunset and Soulful Tunes

boatsandbrews tumblr post

(Image from Tumblr)

It’s starting to rain over here (which I love) but at the same time I can’t help wondering:

Who would like to go sit on the beach at sunset eating gooey pizza out of the box and talk about the universe and our souls and magic and maybe not talk at all because

everything is so

perfect

?

Girl Talk: Team Huddle

Girl Talk: Team Huddle

[All images are on point and from weheartit.com]

B goes through these phases of having a current word that he loves to use. His current one is ’empower’. Not a bad one to have. He uses it in a work context, empowering this associate, that manager, this director, etc.

We all know that I love myself some weheartit action. Whaddya know, there is an inspiration gallery on weheartit called ‘Empowerment’! Hello, this is Synchronicity calling. Oh, it’s for us! So, this gallery on weheartit is girl-power focused but there’s some stuff in there to support all genders as well. The images that caught my eye the most were the ones that remind me that girls need to support other girls. You know the ones:

One of my favourite comedians is Dylan Moran and he made an observation about women in one of his standups saying we will never have the rights we keep demanding because we keep bitching about each other. You could hear the sucked in breath of the audience, the outright guffaws of everyone, all the head nodding and people going, “Haha! So true!”.

I laughed too but on the inside, I was all, “Dammit, Team!”

A very good friend of mine once told me something when I expressed hurt feelings after discovering that someone I thought of as a very close friend had been talking about me behind my back. He said, “Dom, one of these days you’ll learn that not everyone likes everyone and not everyone will like you.”

taste
Stranger things, hey. What are you gunna do.

Stranger things, hey. What are you gunna do.

I was like “Waaaaaaahhhh I don’t wanna learn” (The sound of me experiencing history repeating.)

Flashback to trying to introduce my different best friends in junior school to each other which felt like walking face on into a brick wall. Very painful. They all hated each other. For no reason that I could see. I liked them, we seemed to like similar things hence the bff-ness, so why didn’t they like each other? At least one of them explicitly stated, “If she’s coming, I’m not coming.” Tea parties and movie outings got very tricky.

My squads were more like Noah’s ark passengers and only came in sets of two. No chance of starting a girl band which is a shame because one of my bffs and I had this great dance routine down ahahahaha cue my #squadgoals gallery.

0F37802F-B8DC-4685-8AAE-8DBBCBC19E4E
It was actually a killer routine, ok.

It was actually a killer routine, ok.

This could have been us but you hatin’.

how amazing would this be

who dis
No, I’m not bffs anymore with those girls.

Another odd thing that I observed over time was the refusal of women to accept each other.

Have you ever heard someone say, “Yes but she’s ugly.” as a means to downplay that person’s competence or worth? Or if someone is being praised for an accomplishment, another person says, “Too bad she’s fat.” Or  about someone who has the figure of someone who works out alot, “She’s probably bulimic.” Or about someone who is beautifully dressed, “She’s a bimbo.” Or about someone who is just generally a lovely person, well off, doing well in her chosen field, beautiful inside and out, you might hear, “But she’s still single hey.”

?!

not nice
That’s super unchill and way harsh.

This hating thing seems to be something that has really picked up over the last couple of years. I’ve been the subject of some hate too: I have been fat-shamed AND thin-shamed, but then hello, who hasn’t had a little shade thrown at them by this point? There’s so much of it to go around.

i'm curvystudies show

snap!
Seriously, how much are we loving these images?! And also are those some kind of donut?

I don’t know if it has always been this way and I can’t speak to what guys talk about amongst themselves because I’m not a guy. But it feels horrible to me. This should not be the norm. Where have the compliments gone? I’m not interested in lip service and saying nice things that we don’t mean. But the more I see this sort of behaviour — and I know other people must be seeing this hence all the “Women empower each other” inspiration images — the more I think there seems to be this mindset that there is only a limited amount of beauty, brains, health, wealth, best friends, compliments, success, and other great things and it’s every woman for herself. We need to clear this misunderstanding up. There may be underlying issues like a feeling of lack (self-esteem, worth, value) and we need to deal with that too. Not that having issues is an excuse. We may not even be aware of any underlying issues. Although what kind of perfectly happy issue-free person walks around espousing hate? Happy people don’t kill people as Elle Woods puts it.

Hey girl, what lies beneath?

Dunno, but that won’t stop me from hating on other people. 

And “she started it” is definitely not a valid reason, either.

another woman's beautynot at all jealous

other womenwomen shouldbecause v66

The idea that a person may be deeply unhappy without even knowing suggests a general lack of awareness or cloudiness of mind. One of the Yoga Sutras talks about how to attain clarity of mind. It says, “Clarity of mind is produced by meditating on friendliness towards the happy, compassion toward the miserable, joy toward the virtuous, and indifference toward the wicked.” [1.33]

I think of this as one of several keys to ultimate freedom.

What better freedom can there be than to have total peace of mind? To not experience jealousy when one witnesses the success of another but to feel happy? Rather than tearing each other down and belittling the hard work of another we can feel inspired to do more and be more. No, we don’t need to do the old “Girls rule, boys suck” chant either. There is no need for us to put down another gender to feel better about our own. We don’t need to belittle someone else’s life to feel better about our own. True strength doesn’t depend on highlighting the weaknesses of others and we need to be stronger.

True strength NOT brute strength.

what we need

All of us are in this together and we have our own challenges to get through. My approach? Well, basically:

can't seehalf the battlebe a queen honey!IFbe nice or else

For those of us who have been bullied and pushed around: hey, you need to know that you’re a valuable person.

you are validyou are notgood peopleif you can't find onep.s.

For those of us who have not made the best choice, let’s stop being so shady. I think kindness is a nicer shade on you.

So, if we really want world peace and universal love, let’s give ourselves permission to show each other kindness and find some peace. There are really important things happening out there, tearing each other down simply cannot be the way forward. This behaviour has become a bad habit but habits can be unlearned. It’s never too late to learn new tricks and bring about change. Change your thoughts, change your life.

orendapeople are terrificall the hearts<3

Ok, team, good talk. Go team!

xoxo